Table Talk by: Tamara Kaye Sellman

Aphrodisiacs: are they real, or are they the products of old wives’ tales?

The jury’s still out as to whether certain substances, when consumed, really do improve one’s libido, especially in the category of common foods used as romantic stimulants. The power of positive thinking can go a long way to improving one’s sex life, in and of itself; therefore, the suggestion of sharing aphrodisiac meals might be all a couple needs to get in the mood.

However, it’s still rather fun to think of certain foods as lending additional support to you or your loved one’s ability to be aroused. It’s widely assumed that chocolate and oysters have romantic qualities to them, based on their particular chemistries, along with long-held beliefs in their aphrodisiacal properties. Would it matter if science debunked those claims? Probably not. People who love chocolate and oysters are still going to connect their cravings for these foods with sexual performance.

Chemists who study the various nutritional properties of foods do give several foods, including chocolate and oysters, a thumbs up based on laboratory evidence that a bon-bon here or an oyster shooter there does, in fact, stimulate the libido, improve blood circulation, and arouse sexual desire through the glands.

Perhaps appropriately, many of these foods also resemble the various reproductive organs of both men and women.

The avocado is one case in point. Let’s face it; the avocado, when cut open, has a distinctly “female” resemblance. The Aztecs referred to the avocado plant as the “testicle tree” due to the fact that the fruits hung in pairs from the tree’s limbs. Whether this is true or not, consider what nutritionists have know for a while: The avocado is higher in beta carotene, potassium, protein, magnesium, folic acid, thiamin, riboflavin, niacin, biotin, pantothenic acid, vitamin E, and vitamin K per ounce than any other fruit.  A power-packed fruit with such a rich, creamy flavor and suggestive look to it has got to do something good for the ol’ sex drive.

Enhancement of sexual organs is one of the reasons why the herb, fenugreek, was used so frequently in ancient times. Women who consume fenugreek are thought to enjoy larger, rounder breasts and to be more productive with nursing. Chinese herbalists still use fenugreek to help with male reproductive issues and kidney disorders (the Chinese believe the kidneys are the storehouse for sexual energy). Fenugreek also contains the natural steroid, diosgenin, which helps the human body to initially synthesize sex hormones. And who wants a lover with bad breath? If they drink a tea of fenugreek seed or chew on the seeds themselves, they’ll naturally freshen their breath. Who could argue that fresh breath is better for kissing?

For people who want to eat a seasonally sensual dinner, asparagus is a great choice in late winter and early spring. Forget its obviously phallic resemblance: asparagus contains tons of nutrition and is known to increase circulation for both the genital and urinary systems. It’s also credited for increasing mother’s milk, soothing menstrual cramps, and boosting one’s vitality.  Why not “get some” while asparagus is on sale this spring?

Let’s not forget the predominance of figs in ancient culture to suggest fertility. It all started in Eden, with Adam and Eve, adorned only in fig leaves. A raw fig in the hand certainly can feel like and resemble a testicle. Slice open a fig and you’ll see there’s no denying its suggestion of all things female. Figs are nutritious little treasures as well and have a creamy, perfumed sweetness that’s perfect for a romantic meal, especially when drizzled with honey, another food valued for its aphrodisiacal properties. Honey, after all, is a kind of superfood all its own, proven to enhance physical stamina by providing the body with a slow and steady release of energy.

Other surprise foods that can improve one’s love life include arugula (its spicy, phallic-shaped blades clear the mind and add robust amounts of minerals and vitamins to the diet, all essential for priming one’s sex life); almonds (which have properties that can help treat sexual dysfunction as well as have a positive aromatherapeutic affect on women’s sexual arousal); eggs (of every variety: from chicken ova to caviar, eggs are rich in protein and zinc, which is especially useful for getting that blood flowing); vanilla (studies show it has a positive aromatherapeutic affect on men’s arousal); and ginger (scientifically proven to stimulate sexual performance, thanks to the way it enhances the body’s circulation).

It’s safe to assume that most nutritiously dense foods lend themselves to better sexual health: after all, it’s not just a healthy relationship that keeps two people together, but good mental and physical health as well. So whatever you eat for dinner on Valentine’s Day, your wedding night, your anniversary, or at any other romantic interlude, make sure it’s fresh, healthy, and nutritious—the ultimate definition of sexy.

Bio: Tamara Kaye Sellman is a creative writing coach and developmental editor living in Bainbridge Island, WA. She writes the blog, BuzzFood: Feed The Obsession (http://buzzfood.blogspot.com).

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Do you remember when you were a teenager and you realized for the first time that your parents had sex? Remember your reaction? Ewww!

The general perception is, I believe, that at a certain indeterminate but not too old age, people, especially your parents yikes, stop having any interest in sex. Many women still believe that menopause signals the end of their sex lives primarily I suppose because of the sometimes severe mood swings and parching vaginal dryness that can accompany menopause. And up until a few years ago, there was a certain age after which many men found it difficult to attain or maintain an erection.  Result for both men and women? No sex. A quick goodnight kiss and they both rolled over.

That was then; this is now. Change your thinking about sex and aging or be guilty of the least acknowledged, least spoken about form of ageism.

And of course, this concept is old, out of date, prejudicial and really silly. Both men and women have access to solutions for many of the barriers against having sex beyond menopause. It’s a short list – vaginal lubricants for women, erectile dysfunction medication for men. And it’s a billion dollar market.

But beyond the physical facts of older age sex lies the much more harmful mainstream thinking about it. Younger people rarely want to even consider such a possibility, let alone accept it as fact. Ageism again, see?

And it is a fact of life; make no mistake. Men and women in their 60s, 70s, and (I hope) 80s are enjoying sex like never before. No worries about little ones walking into the room, no shortages of time that we faced when we’re younger, no lack of interest because we’re just so tired from the rest of our demanding lives. And no fear of pregnancy.

Now, at an age when many of us are retired from our full time jobs, we suddenly have the time, perhaps for the first time in years, to rediscover our own libido, rediscover our husband/partner, rediscover the joy of sex.

I don’t have any figures on how many single or divorced or widowed women in their 50s, 60s and up are re-entering the dating arena, often with online dating sites, meeting new men, trying on a new version of an old part of their lives. But the number is a large one.

Not to be too graphic, but what I read, hear and experience personally is that

re-found sex is a whole different ballgame, including less inhibition, more experimentation and a previously unachieved intimacy. So the thought that this, um, activity is uncommon, distasteful, bizarre, is a bias with a capital B, ageism with a capital A.

We need to change our thinking about older men and women having a sex life just as we need to change our thinking about older people being addled, inactive, unproductive, unimportant. We need to understand that all people of all ages have an interest in and even a right to great sex. And it would be nice if we could support those in our lives who are entering into this amazing stage of their lives. It would be nice if we could erase this ageist concept. The moaning you hear from that bedroom may not be your parent’s aching bodies!

Because this is Where We’re Going and I’m just getting started!

© Marcia Barhydt, 2010

All rights reserved

Celebrate Age! www.willowtree.ca

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