Is the extra year worth it?
When my father was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, he said that he would only go through treatment because he wanted just two more years. He was also quite afraid of dying all of a sudden, where before he hadn’t shown any fear of dying, only fear of suffering or wasting away. He really wants to be able to golf right down to the end.
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They Say Time Heals All Wounds….
My life took a drastic turn in 2010. All my worries and fears came true – my dad passed away and less then 4 month later my mom was gone. They had been divorced for years and yet they passed so close together.
As baby boomers most of us are going through one of two stages: trying to help our aging parents or watching them slip through our fingers like sands in an hour glass, totally helpless to do anything to stop it.
As much as I loved my father, (and I was a daddies little girl) their is really nothing like a mother. She was my my cushion from the world. Anytime I had a disappointment or a set back she was my biggest supporter. It has been unbearable having to go on without her – We would talk every day sometimes twice a day.
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Handling relationships with an ill loved one
As I watch my siblings and I strive to handle the various situations that come up when a loved one is suffering from cancer and being treated with chemo and radiation therapy, I know there isn’t a single “right” way to handle the situation. Even so, my father became keenly aware lately of the following:
It is very difficult to live in someone else’s home;
When one is dealing with their own illness, they like to have some sense of control of the choices in their life; and;
It’s very difficult to listen to someone else’s burdens or challenges when one is dealing with a life threatening challenge of one’s own.
At one point in the past few week’s my dad was ready to pull his hair out. In reality, he really was checking to see if his hair would pull out due to the chemo–he’s a bit paranoid about losing his hair and is full of anxiety about the possibility. But metaphorically speaking, he has been ready to pull his hair out from frustration at living in someone else’s home and feeling like he has not been given control over his own care and welfare.
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