Men assume that I am older than the age I have posted on my online dating profile. At least, that’s the discouraging news that one man passed along to me when we met for a glass of wine.

Apparently, so many men and women lie about their age online, that it is commonly assumed that you are “fudging”. I’ve been told that many viewers automatically add at least several years onto your age, or maybe just round up to the next milestone. Does my 56 get rounded up to 60? Read the rest of this entry »

Do men sabotage successful women? I think some do. I think some men just can’t understand the essence of this very common phenomenon.

Much has been written about the new generation of young men – the “millennials” as they are called – that they have been coddled by over protective mommies of my generation; that they have been helicoptered and micromanaged to the point of perennial adolescence and now are ensconced in “Peter Pan syndrome” for the long haul. It is said that their female counterparts are soaring ahead in education and career, even in this down economy.

But what of the mommies? Do we “ baby boomers” fight off male angst while our daughters tackle apathy? Read the rest of this entry »

1. Men get the benefit of the doubt. Men generally get hired on their promise and women on their demonstrated experience. Men are usually taken at their word, while women get challenged more, required to deliver data and substantiation for their views. Chicken or egg: Do men get the benefit of the doubt because they are better qualified, or are they better qualified because they get the benefit of the doubt?
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Be the perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect friend, perfect boss, perfect hostess… the pressure to be perfect is everywhere in a woman’s life.

Is the road to happiness paved with perfection, or are women somehow being deceived?  Martha Stewart has built a phenomenally successful empire around perfectionism.  I think it’s harder for women since Martha came along.

It’s exhausting just to think about the “P-word”.  We think that everyone knows that perfection is non-existent.  If that’s true, then why is it so difficult for many of us to stop tilting at windmills?
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Sigh. Yet another example of ageism has reared its ugly head in my world and this time it’s personal!! Social networking sites such as Facebook, My Space, Twitter, LinkedIn, are being invaded by, OMG, SENIORS! Can the implosion of our world as our kids know it be far behind?

I’m shaking my head at this latest twist of ageism, mostly because it’s just so silly for any age group to think they have a corner on any aspect of life – including social networking. And I’m shaking my head because this whole issue is just so incredibly blatant.

Bulletin to anyone under 50 – you are NOT alone. You do NOT have exclusive rights to social media sites. Get over your ice-flow mentality because we will not be sent to sea quietly!
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“Only let the moving waters calm down; and the sun and moon will be reflected on the surface of your being.” ~ Rumi

What’s a stillpoint you ask? A stillpoint is the place where movement ceases and everything becomes clear as a result. Think of a rollercoaster – the kind that loops around first one way, then backwards through the loop, getting ever higher in its circle until the cars are at the top of the circle, hanging upside down – just hanging. THAT is a stillpoint. The object in motion has come to rest, balancing on its’ stillpoint. The same can be true for us even in the midst of our lives.

Our stillpoint is revealed to us when we can see through our conditioning, bring conscious compassion to all that we know and discover about ourselves, embrace all of who we are (warts and all), and find the freedom in the newness of life experiences. Some people would define it as the ageless connection with source energy, of merging with your divine for even just a moment… before the busy-ness of your linear mind, the connections of your relationships and the activities of your life come in and take over (which, as an entrepreneur, is exponentially more when the business-mind kicks in!). However, when we can attain our stillpoint, we have the opportunity to breathe with our entire being. We can stop the resistance, the struggle with what IS in appreciation of simply being.

One of my recent clients experienced her stillpoint for the first time. She hired me because her business wasn’t working. There weren’t enough clients, not enough money, too much to do, and a feeling of “not being enough”. Of course, when that starts, that message becomes internalized and becomes magnified as a vicious circle. She’s been going at a frenetic pace on all levels for nearly a year – she was worn down, fried out, and frustrated by other solutions she had tried but that didn’t make a difference. She’d tried time management, hiring a professional organizer, working with a marketing firm to handle her promotions, working with a life coach, and more – but each was a band-aid that addressed symptoms temporarily but didn’t last.

The reason was that she hadn’t met herself in the space of her stillpoint to remember her power, her true purpose, and the abundance of time to get what was truly important done – she not only had more than enough but she now knows that she IS more than enough in her stillpoint being. By taking a “break” to reconnect with her personal stillpoint, even though the first experience of it lasted less than a minute, she began to go beyond her current state to relate to a much bigger picture of herself.  She no longer views her past, or even her current state, as a predictor of what can be… and when she needs to fill up again on that level, now she can always access her stillpoint to feel the expansive focus of who she IS to align her world with that.

Take a minute to think about that… the expansive focus of your personal stillpoint…. What would that feel like? How do you get there?

Three Things You Can Do Today:

1.    Stop and be still. Give yourself permission to just stop. Close your eyes and imagine yourself as a blender that you turn off, or of being on a rollercoaster that just stops, or as a pebble that stops tumbling in the water to simply reflect the sun’s light. Be still. Breathe. Turn your conscious attention inward to find what your stillpoint looks like – it might look like you are a circle of light balanced at the top of a pyramid. It might be a feeling of the universe coming to a point in your center or a feeling of non-sensation in your body, as though you are free to do anything and gravity isn’t holding you. The most important thing is that you stop and be still – even if it’s less than a minute, it will help you to connect to your source energy, to that place where no one else can go but you.

2.    Pay attention to your near-wake or near-sleep state. In the few moments that dance between being asleep and waking up, or just before you fall asleep, the “veil” is thin for us because our conscious mind has already started to disengage or hasn’t quite engaged yet. In those “limbo” places, you can access your stillpoint more easily – the place where you are completely content and have no need to do anything other than be in that moment. If your conscious mind tries to horn in, you can sometimes push it back; over time, you will be able to prolong that in-between state to the extent that you might feel like you were there for a really long time (even if in chronological time it only lasted 30 seconds). It doesn’t take much to feel your stillpoint if you are attuned to doing so.

3.    Feel your feelings fully. When we are disconnected from, or don’t allow ourselves to feel, our feelings completely, they will find a way somehow to be acknowledged. Just like a child that demands to be heard, our feelings will find a way to get noticed. And “old” or “stuck” feelings can clog up our stillpoint because it becomes “noise” over time instead of a valid messenger in the moment. When you can be internally still enough to feel your feelings, and act accordingly, your internal world is in flow and you can more easily access your stillpoint.

And one last thought – taking the time to create a personal ritual for yourself can be a powerful way to access your stillpoint.

At the risk of using “woo-woo” language, connect with your stillpoint to be in who you are in the largest sense, and then bring that back into your everyday world for faster results on your priorities. It’s about vibrational creation from who you are in your most pure form to make manifest your gifts and desires in a tangible way. Imagine if everyone created their lives from the purity of their essential being… gives me the chills just thinkin’ about it!

Lynn Scheurell, Creative Catalyst, helps conscious entrepreneurs strengthen their inner systems, both personal and professional, for faster business results. She teaches renaissance souls how to gain clarity on their purpose by remembering who they are from their essential self, then aligning everything they do to express their unique gift through their business while working with natural energies for maximum support. Register for a free GEENI™ for Change ecourse to learn how to upgrade your life in just seven days at www.mycreativecatalyst.com.

How many times have you found yourself frustrated in conversation with your mate trying to explain something important and walked away shaking your head in frustration saying to yourself, “He just doesn’t get it!” Your shoulders tense, your brows come together in that little crease and the tension headaches continue.

Well knock it off. He just doesn’t get it in your language.

We all have different languages and ways of interpreting love and affection based on our upbringing, gender, personal belief systems, and other life experiences and filters. The key to successful communication in relationships however is not assuming that just because something makes sense to you or is something that you enjoy, it must make sense or be something your spouse enjoys too.

You may be wondering what the heck successful communication has to do with improving your relationship and your health. Here’s the scoop. Studies done at the Institute of Heartmath have shown that stress and different emotional states affect our autonomic nervous system, hormonal and immune systems, heart and brain. Quite simply, they’ve proven that negative emotions impact our health in a negative way, and positive emotions impact our health in a positive way. While we occasionally do experience emotions on our own, they are more often than not the result of a successful (or unsuccessful) experience with someone else.
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Times are tough. We are at war. The economy is down and unemployment is up. Trusting others is down, blaming is up. Optimistic outlooks are down and fear is up.

Staying up in down times requires a blend of energy, spirit, self-confidence and humor. Perception must change and include a broader knowledge and more comprehensive view. What is your perspective of life and the world? Do your lenses and filters of life and the world include a wide-angle lens or do you use a microscope with a narrowed view?

1. Energy: When precious energy is spent trying to control elements that are out of our control we feel down. We must expand our thinking to include new knowledge. I heard a broadcaster say this about the war; “If the peaceniks think the war is about oil, then maybe we should consider bombing Canada because they supply more oil than Iraq. Our second target should be Mexico – not Iraq.”

This statement may make you angry, so we must remember that we do not control the perceptions of others.
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You’ve heard the term tossed around enough by now…sustainability. What does it mean? Why does it matter?

Sustainability, in relation to food and agriculture, refers to production and harvesting methods that meet the needs of eaters while avoiding the exploitation of the land.

Sustain Web (http://www.sustainweb.org/sustainablefood/) cites a list of seven criteria which identify sustainable produced food as well as sustainable consumption.

1. Food that is locally grown and seasonally available. This isn’t always possible for people who live in urban areas or the North, where seasonal produce is very limited, but the more you can do to support your local growers, the better it will serve your economy. Also, when the late fall rolls around, that’s a great time to pick up storage produce (apples, potatoes, garlic, onions)… things that will keep in a cool, dry, dark place for several month. To me, it’s essential to get these in their most organic form as well, whenever possible. A really good organic storage potato, which costs a little more than its conventionally grown cousin, is totally worth it in terms of taste and texture.

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These are questions that I get on a regular basis from friends, family and our Kalon Women across the world. They all have to do with “self-discovery,” which seems to be a hot topic of discussion these days within the world of boomer women.

Personal growth is most often a slow and gradual process, and it can be difficult to recognize the magnitude of the changes taking place in our lives when we are too close to it. It is so important that we regularly acknowledge our ongoing growth and reward ourselves for the many wonderful steps of self-improvement we have accomplished. When we take a hard look at our own progress, we need never feel that we are wavering between past achievements and the realization of future goals.
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